Thoughts
commentThe more I sit by myself the more I realize that I’m more alone than I’ve been in a long time. But God some how keeps reminding me to look outward and upward.
I am really good at noticing my self and I find that most of the time there are better things right in front of my face.
Sometimes it just seems that I think about the things I miss more than the things I have. And as much as Id like to look in the right direction I can’t aways tell which way is toward.
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Appartments
commentSo I went to an interview today for and apartment with a girl who has a two bedroom townhouse. It’s a small little place, but think it will cool.
There was only one real rule I had apart from the obvious rules about crack addicts and people who put their babies in dumpsters and things like that. The rule was if I thought see was cute than I shouldn’t live there.
Maybe it’s better said that if I though I would want to date this girl than I shouldn’t live there. Well I can’t say I really followed that rule very well. I think I could date this girl if I had a chance to meet her, but now I’m going to be living in the same house so I guess it’s inevitable that I’ll get to know her.
Apart from the little boy crush I might have, she is really cool and I think we’ll get along well. Honestly I’m really happy to be living so close to downtown. I’m excited.
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Wondering
commentA lot of times I find myself sitting around wondering about what woman I will meet. I’ve always kinda of wanted to have an inside hint on who and when, but more time that goes by I realize that it’s not so much about that one person out there.
I let go of the notion that there is one person out there for me, and started to think that there are many options out there. Many women that could be what I need, many sets of eyes and a voice that I could look at and listen too with ever getting tired of.
I don’t think I could have learned this if I got married when I was young. I don’t think many people know that it’s even possible. How misconceived is our perception of life based on the fact that we get married young.
Now all I wonder is wether or not the woman I marry will be with in 5yrs of me or not.
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Interaction
commentI’ve been noticing more and more that it’s not so much that I really want to have a serious thing with any girls right now, but it’s more that I wouldn’t mind a little interaction.
I just came out of a great relationship because of our live moving in different directions and now I’m left hanging with no interaction. We had great companionship and thats what I miss the most.
Guys just don’t cut it, not to mention their not cute like girls are. Damn that sound pathetic… ha
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Single
commentI’ve been noticing again and again my lack of direct interaction with girls. Yeah, I know, weak man….
Seriously though, people always say that women like to be pursued right. Well what if you pursue a woman and then once you get a moment to meet her you realize, “damn this was a huge mistake, this chick is kinda lame”.
Well, you walk away right? Something like that I guess, only make it nice. See the things is I went for some coffee earlier and I saw two girls that were approachable and kinda cute, but I didn’t introduce myself or try and start up a conversation. I’m just not that type, or so I think.
Anyway, if you walk up to a girl and say, “hey” all you do is run the risk of looking and feeling stupid. I’m not so much worried about the initial reaction, but it’s more of the delayed affects that I’m thinking about. I would rather make good eye contact and be little out of reach at first, then find some way to spark a silent interest. It’s all about reaction and eye contact.
If I don’t get the initial reaction that I’m looking for than I’m not interested. It’s a good test in my book, but it seems to attract a certain type of woman than I’m not sure I’m really trying to attract.
In my book it’s all about the second random meeting. That time where I see that same girl and I get that same cute smile from her. That’s the point where I need to say something, but I usually end up scratching my head. Next thing I know I’m covered in dandruff and she’s being distracted by someone else. Then there is that awkwardness where you almost want to wait for the third random meeting. Not a good idea to wait for the third one. Then I just look like a real weirdo.
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Time and a Place
commentAt some point in the future I think I’ll meet some one that likes what I like. Yeah, I know thats a lame thing to say, but what ever. (i don’t care)
I went to Church again today, mostly to see if there were any cute girls there and to see if my opinion of random people has changed in the last week. It didn’t change. In fact it was confirmed that on average random people at Church are so interested in saying hi that they seem to be willing to sacrifice social norms to get in a good hello.
I had one guy even try to start a conversation while I was taking a piss. What the heck!!! (you know) Turns out he was the pastor. I guess we’re all brought up differently, but that doesn’t mean to talk to a stranger while their peeing.
I’m perfectly fine with silence. I can sit in a room with someone I don’t know and never feel the need to say anything. There is a time and a place for everything, and talking while I’m peeing is not one of them.
Not to mention that the sermons at this church are piped in on a big screen. Does anyone else think that weird. I do…
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Random thoughts from the AirPort
commentWhen you’re at the AirPort people seem to be fairly normal. (at least to me) Yeah, sure you see a lot of strange styles of clothing and a few out ragous things, but on average I would say that things are quite normal. In fact I have never really had a bad experiance in the air port. Perhaps I’m one of the few, but in all reality I think people do mean well at heart.
Seeing this many people always gets me questioning what is it that drives people to do bad things. One reason I’m thinking is when they have to choose between themselves or others. Naturally we choose ourselves for most everything. Why not, I mean you’re not going to give up you last drop of water in the desert to a complete stranger. But, you may share a glass of water with a passing stranger on a hot day.
There is an obviouse difference in these two sincerios, I think large things can come from simple choices. Really it’s just kicking myself in the butt to do it. You know what I mean. You see a guy that you know you could help, but instead of getting caught up in his world for 10min you just pass him by and let him be.
Classic right… At any rate I think the driving force behind action and its outcome is Motivation.
