Odd Feelings of Strangness

comment

There are days where I really just feel odd at church. Times where it’s as if some how every one can see every little movement I make, I know it’s not true but it feels that way all the same.

It really all depends on weather or not I can even focus on what’s being said that day, but for the most part i seem to drift off into space and think about all types of randomness. Much like the consistency of this post.

This girl in front of me raised her hand and I got a good look at it and remembered how gentle women are, but also how long it’s been since I’ve held hands. Simple pleasures lost in routine become so apparent when their gone. (or when their out for a season)

December 28, 2008Tags: , , @ 11:46 am
admin

Church Service Thoughts

1 comment

I was sitting in Church today listening to the a Guy talk about giving our bodies to Christ and God. So, I pulled out my pin and my paper and started to draw little characters while thinking about what he was saying. I always find it easier to think about what people are saying in situation like this when I’m drawing stuff.

This guy had some good points, I actually feel like I came away with some good info. Really its nothing new, but hearing it again and in a different way is always good. I think the key to Church for me right now isn’t so much that I’m going to go and hear something that is going to change my life, but more or less that I’m going to hear something that is pertaining to a specific situation in my life at this point in time.

No kidding right, kinda seems to be the point. Well, for some reason in my head I get a lot of strange things rolling around. I usually find some way to say, “I don’t really like to go to Church for this reason or that“. In the end it’s not about what someone else does or says specifically its the little things that put pressure on some situation in your life.

What I mean is that, even if the sermon sucks and you don’t walk away with anything but a nap there may be something else that gets under your skin. I’m not sure what it is, but usually there is something. Weather it be a single sentence that you hear from a small conversation or an entire chapter in the Bible that some one talks about.

I’ve been apart of the Christian community for some time. I’ve been around Church and all that since I was a child and I was an avid Bible thumper for certain parts of my life. But this time around, this phase that I seem to be starting is going to be different.

Why? because I’m going to make it different. I’m going to find a way to be normal.

June 15, 2008Tags: , , , , @ 9:04 pm
admin

Pre Bible Belt Church

comment

I’m going to Church tomorrow in a small town south of Nashville. I have only been to Church a few times in the last few years. This should be interesting because I get a little weirded out when I go to some Churches. I’m curious what kind of Church this is going to be.

Basically I’m, Critical, Hypocritical, Cynical, Judgmental, and some other kind of mental that I can’t think of right now. Church just seems a little fake to me at time. I know it’s not always that way, and it’s certainly not that way after you get to know a few people. Thing is when I was apart of a Church in the past I found my self doing and saying things that made me feel all the Mentals from the first sentence in this paragraph.

In fact every time I start to write about this topic I get about 2 paragraphs in and then I’m out of ammo. I seem to realize that most of the problem is probably coming from me. Then again I start to think, “I just don’t want to be the same Christian as I was, and I don’t want to be just like everyone else.”

“I don’t want to be the same Christian?” What does that even mean. I don’t want to be the same person that I felt I was being. At this point I just don’t think hindsight is 20 20. I see what I think and not what I was.

Over and over we’ve been told everything anyone can think of from the Bible. We’re encouraged to do, do, do; do something for someone who can’t do. Give, Give, Give; Give something to someone who doesn’t have, and there is a balance somewhere that I’m not seeing.

What I see is a Christian Subculture, their intentions seem right, and their actions seem based, but we seem to have a lot of really expensive stuff.

There is more, but I’ll leave it alone for now. Just a reminder for myself though, why does it seem like people who turn to God have nothing to loose? It’s like a last resort or something…

June 14, 2008Tags: , , , , , @ 10:52 pm
admin